The Napkin Dilemma
by SoMuchLoveInALovelessWorld
Summary: Sheldon receives the perfect gift. What could he give in return? Shenny one-shot.


**Author's Note : This story is based on 'The Bath Item Gift Hypothesis' episode. Thanks for reading!**

_Disclaimer: I do not own The Big Bang Theory or any character associated with it, no copyright infringement is intended._

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><p>Sheldon is lying on his bed for about two hours now, but sleep eludes him. Since he received that gift, his thoughts are spinning inside his head; how could she give him something so precious, so valuable, so priceless? Those bath baskets were nothing compared to the napkin. He possesses the DNA of Leonard Nimoy! The possibilities are innumerable; he can even grow his own Spock! He must be on par with Penny, but how? What would be a perfect gift?<p>

Flowers… No, too superficial.

A wine basket... Maybe, but her drinking habits are probably leading her to cirrhosis of the liver. He would feel guilty about her premature death.

Chocolates, clothes, shoes, jewelry… Overly clichéd. He huffs, sitting against the headboard. Women are complicated creatures, he muses. It has to be something she needs, something she really desires… Without warning, he remembers a brief conversation they had some time ago. She said her life was a disaster; her acting career was going nowhere and… she hasn't had sex in months. Oh. His throat goes dry as his mind wonders about what he could do to… help her. The idea of coitus with his neighbor isn't disgusting, far from it. He blushes, aware of his body's reaction to her. When they first met, he masturbated three times on that day, picturing her wrapped in his blue towel. After that, she occasionally played a role on his self-pleasure sessions. He goes to the bathroom, his hands slightly shaking while he splashes some water on his face. Would she reject him? He isn't her type; she is fond of troglodytes like her ex-boyfriend Kurt. Besides, his proposal could damage their friendship forever. He makes up his mind when he glances at the napkin again. He must offer something as meaningful to her as well.

_(Penny… Penny… Penny…)_

She opens the door with a glass of eggnog in her hand and smiles, "Hi, sweetie, isn't past your bedtime?" The white ball of her Santa's hat is bouncing near her cheek, matching her almost see-through nighty.

His cheeks feel hot, "Y-yes… but I… May I have a word with you?"

"Sure, come in…" she motions him to sit on the couch. "So… What are you doing up so late?" she asks as she sits beside him.

"I've been thinking about… your gift… and… I…" he fidgets with his hands, "I want to thank you again."

"Oh, Sheldon, it's okay…" she crosses her legs, unintentionally exposing a bit of her white panties, "I loved the bath stuff too… The green apple soap is wonderful; smell it." She leans closer to him as he inhales the sweet scent, fighting back a groan.

"Good, good…" he gulps, trying to avert his eyes from her cleavage, "I'm glad you enjoyed it."

After a few awkward seconds of silence, she offers, "Do you want some eggnog? Water? Tea?"

He shakes his head, looking down.

She turns off the TV and faces him, her voice worried, "Sheldon, what's wrong? You're starting to scare me."

A deep breath, "Penny… I have a proposition to make regarding our gift exchange."

"Go ahead."

His mouth opens and closes twice, but no sound comes out. He scratches his forehead, choosing the best way to deliver his proposal without alarm her further. "You have no idea of how you surprised me with your… the napkin. Therefore, I've came to conclusion my poor set of baskets were nothing compared to your thoughtful present." She protests, raising her hand, but he continues, "Let me finish, Penny. After hours of deep pondering, I realized the only thing I could offer you is…"

"Your first born?" she laughs, throwing her head back.

He sighs indignantly, sensing she isn't taking him seriously. But now, she will. "My virginity."

She spits the beverage in shock. "What?"

"You aren't deaf." He stands up and paces her living room. "Please, take in consideration that my suggestion has nothing to do with your former… promiscuous habits." She glares at him. "I have no intention of disrespect or offend you. Four months ago, you told me you were upset due to a lack of sexual activities, so I thought I could assist you and, at the same time, you and I will be even…" he lowers his head, a fear of rejection coming in, "If you're interested, of course."

The silence takes over again. Her expression is perplexed and words leave her. Even he can discern the variety of emotions running through her face: surprise, confusion, anger, hesitation, and finally, disappointment. "Sheldon… I know you aren't an expert in social… Whatever…" she goes to her fridge and grabs a bottle of water, "What I'm trying to say is you shouldn't lose your virginity like this… as an exchange…"

She didn't decline his offer _per se_, so he approaches her carefully, "How did you lose yours?"

"After my prom…" she steps closer to him, "It was awful."

"Why?"

She seems shy, leaning herself against the wall, staring at the floor, "He was… uncaring. We didn't have a connection… and the act was clumsy, painful and quick." She sits on the couch again, her eyes sad and wet. "It wasn't the time, you know? I did it because everyone was doing it, but after that I felt terrible."

He places himself at her side again, and to his own surprise, holds her hand, "I'm sorry, Penny."

"It's not your fault…" she manages a smile, "But I believe I've made my point: your first time should be with someone special, someone you care about. Not me."

"What makes you think you aren't?" he blurts out.

She retracts her hand, exhaling exasperatedly, "Oh, so out of the blue, I'm special? Just because of that stupid napkin?"

He frowns, startled with her little outburst, "Penny… You know me very well. Do you think I would come to your house at this time of the evening, if wasn't completely certain of my intentions?"

"Okay…" she rises to her feet, "Do you wanna have sex with me? Penny? Your annoying, not smart, slutty neighbor?"

"First, I only agree with the annoying part. Second, yes. I trust you, I find you aesthetically pleasing, and mostly, I'm in my late twenties, I think is time."

A small grin appears on her lips, "You think I'm pretty?"

He nods, eyes fixed on hers, "And you?"

"Me what?"

He speaks softly, butterflies in his stomach, "Do you find me appealing?"

Biting her lip, she replies, "Yes, I do."

He closes his eyes, relief washing over him. She didn't reject him! This is surely a dream, he concludes, and the sensation increases as he feels a soft peck on his mouth. He lets out a sound that's halfway between a choke and a whimper, until she whispers against his lips, "What about Leonard? You know…"

Leonard. He has a big crush on her, everybody is aware of this, but he recently dated Dr. Stephanie Barnett and went out on dates with Leslie Winkle. They aren't in a romantic relationship and Penny hasn't shown any interest in him. "Are you attracted to Leonard?"

She shakes her head, touching his knee with her forefinger, "No… But I'm concerned about your friendship… If he ever finds out…"

"He won't."

"But you can't hide any secrets…" she giggles as her hand makes its way to his thigh, "Remember the community college?"

He shivers, studying her hand, "I'll keep this between us."

Apparently that's all she needs to hear. Her lips return to his gently, feather-like, while she places her arms around his neck. His hands go to her waist, unsure of what to do as he caresses the silky fabric with his fingers. She sighs, hopefully with pleasure, and sucks his bottom lip lightly into her mouth, earning a low moan from him. He mimics her, adding a soft bite, making her stop their kisses with a gasp, "Sheldon!" When he is about to apologize, she straddles his lap and bluntly sticks her tongue into his mouth, grabbing his head, pressing him further on the couch. He nearly gags, but a part of his body is stirring to life as he attempts to get used to the slick glide of her tongue. The idea of her saliva and germs in his mouth is disturbing, but is soon forgotten when her pelvis touches his covered erection; by instinct, he grasps her hips, forcing her harder against him, his fingers now beneath her nighty, digging into the soft flesh of her round ass, as she groans obscenities mixed with his name. She nips at his neck, leaving a red mark on it and breathless suggests, "Bedroom?"

"Yes…" he agrees; all his words disappearing, "Yes…" he repeats as she clasps his hand and leads them to her bedroom.

He sits on the bed, takes off his shoes, observing her while she removes her clothes, standing in front of him only in her white lace panties. His gaze darkens at the sight of her bare breasts, so full and beautiful. "Do you like them?" she pinches her already hard nipples.

"Very much…" he affirms and she steps closer to him. Shaky hands caresses her breasts as her head lolls back and she closes her eyes. An urge to taste them overcomes him and suddenly he suckles one nipple then the other repeatedly, until her legs buckle, and he has to hold her hips to steady her. "Penny…" he moans against her neck when she hugs him tightly.

"Wow!" she exclaims as soon she regains her control. "You have too much clothes on…" she mumbles after a long kiss, kneeling on the floor between his legs, "Let me help you…" She lifts his shirts over his head with a swift motion and goes to his belt buckle, opening it and then proceeding to unbutton and unzip his plaid pants. A little embarrassed, he glances down at his straining penis and back at her. "If you feel uncomfortable, we can stop anytime, okay?" she assures him, noticing his discomfort. The last thing he wants right now is to stop. With a discreet gesture, he motions her to continue. She smirks, "Can I unwrap my gift now?" Before he can answer, she drags his briefs down, her eyes glinting as one warm hand closes around the base of his cock, "Merry Christmas to me!"

"Oh… Penny…" he moans while she strokes him slowly, staring at him with a mischievous grin, fondling his scrotum gently. After a few moments of teasing, she takes him in her mouth, drawing a gasp from him, "Oh dear!" He needs to watch her, but his eyes flutter close as he relishes in the feel of her tongue swirling around the head of his member. She nibbles his testicles, running her thumb over his tip; he grunts, canting his hips forward, and her lips go back to his dick, almost engulfing his whole length. "Stop…" he tangles his fingers in her hair, pushing her head away, "Please, stop…"

"It was… too much?" she asks and wipes her mouth.

"No… I mean… y-yes…" he stammers while she lies on top of him.

"We can go slow…" they kiss again for minutes as his hands roam over her body, kneading her breasts, groping her butt, until he loops his fingers into the waistband of her damp underwear, tugging it down. She smiles, sitting on his belly, her wetness dripping on his skin, her scent driving him crazy, and his desire grows as she leans back and starts to rub herself against his penis, the friction turning him into a mess of lust.

"Penny… please…" he begs, moving her against him firmly.

"Please what?" she murmurs, pausing her movements, eyes locked on his.

"Let me touch you…" he pleads, turning her over onto her back, "Show me what to do."

She groans, shutting her eyes, seemingly excited with his words. "Here…" she guides his fingers to her clitoris, "Like that… Yes… Circle it with your thumb…" she squirms, biting her lip, "Now… stick a finger inside me… here…" her hips lift up toward him as she gasps for air. He has never seen something so exquisite: her parted plump lips, her golden hair plastered to her neck, her pink nipples bouncing, her content sighs. He adds another finger on his own volition, pumping them harder, his thumb still jarring her clit, fully stimulating her. "Sheldon… I'm… No, no…" she warns him, clutching at his arm.

He removes his hand immediately, afraid of her reaction, "Did I hurt you?"

"No… You're too good at this…" she kisses him reassuringly, "I want to come with you inside me…" she turns to the nightstand, opening the drawer, pulling out the foil. He watches with heavy-lidded eyes as she rolls the condom over his erection, brushing her hand deliberately on his tip, making him grit his teeth with need.

She lies down, legs apart. He gazes at her eyes, positioning his body on top of hers, his cock nudging at her entrance. That's it. With a smooth thrust, he enters her tight center, slowly burying himself inside her. She feels so good, so warm, so wet… so ready for him. He looks down at their joined bodies and an involuntary grunt escapes from his mouth – his penis sliding in and out of her vagina, the sound of flesh slapping against flesh reverberating in his ears, her arousal soaking his shaft. It's too much, too perfect and when he glances back at her face, he notices she is feeling the same; her green eyes shining in the dim room reveal her satisfaction. He kisses her roughly, trying to tell her without words this is the happiest moment of his life and he is an imbecile for denying his natural impulses for years. Their rhythm speeds up and he rests his head on her neck, biting, sucking, licking her sweaty skin, knowing he won't last long. "P-Penny… I'm… Penny!" he yelps when she clenches her internal muscles, squeezing him. She wraps her legs around his waist, deepening his penetration with the shift of her hips. A few more hard thrusts and he's gone, his vision blurring out of focus as he climaxes with a strangled "fuck" while she arches her back, raking her nails across his back, crying out his name.

He pants, eyeing her apprehensively, "Did you… achieve orgasm?"

"Oh yeah…" she says lazily, kissing his chin, "And it was a hell of one…"

Sitting on the edge of the bed, he takes off the condom and ties it off, placing it in a small trash can, then quickly turns to her, holding her in his arms and pecks her forehead. "How was it for you?" she asks while stroking his chest.

"Indescribable."

She jokes, "Fancy words from a man who just growled 'fuck' in my ear."

"I'm sorry…" he flushes pink, "I didn't mean to use such vulgar language."

"Hummm… But I love vulgar language…" she caresses his hipbone, "Especially when it comes from someone like you…"

"Penny…" he mildly protests when she plays with his semi-flaccid penis.

"What?" she faces him innocently.

He can feel himself hardening again with her gentle teasing and wonders if he will be able to come back to his celibate state. After the sex… after her. Darn, he can think about it later. He rolls on top of her again, lifting her hands above her head, his hold strong, taking her by surprise.

Before he kisses her, he whispers, "Happy Saturnalia, Penny."

"Happy… oh… Saturnalia, Sheldon…" she moans as his fingers find her center one more time.


End file.
